07 August 2009
From: The Spoof
A team of intrepid explorers working deep in a previously-uncharted area of the Amazon rainforest in Brasil, had the shock of their lives this week when, instead of the lost tribe of pygmies they were looking for, they stumbled upon an even greater discovery - a branch of Tesco supermarket and, just 100 metres further away, an Asda.
The surprising find was made by a research team from the University of Sau Paulo who were searching for a community of pygmies clad in loin cloths, reportedly living more than 300 miles into dense tropical forest, in an area that had been thought to be uninhabited, and uninhabitable.
One of the team, Dr Guillermo Trolley, said:
"We never expected to find something so modern, so advanced as a supermarket, but there it was, Tesco, and a little way along the track, an Asda - it's really extraordinary!"
The scientists pitched camp and decided to make a closer investigation of the supermarket early the next morning. Rising at 4am, however, they found the Tesco lights already on, and the store open for business. A closer inspection revealed a busy throng of customers going about their shopping.
Dr Trolley managed to make contact with someone who appeared to be the person in charge, Quechexico Tenochtalan, a 3-foot pygmy dressed in a loin cloth emblazoned with a Tesco logo, who told him:
"Some would say that it's a strange place to put a Tesco, but we like to remain very competitve with all our rivals, and I think you'll find all your favourite items in-store, as well as many other great cut-price offers."